Sodomy Nightmare Ends Shortly


I decided that it’d be a good idea to introduct my posts in a similar method to Ad Hominem and give a brief prologue in the wonderous italic style. What follows is a rant. I suppose in a way I’m testing the water with this, I’m also just trying to get the creative juices flowing again, but by God, if you disagree with me about the following then you’re a bludgeoning headcase. My posts will contain a lot less thought provoking questions than you may be used to. I apologise in advance if this dullens your reading experience.

Recently I handed over a small sum of money for the pleasure of owning a Super Nintendo Entertainment System, with the purchase I also received ‘Super Mario World’ and I’m not afraid to say that I hate Mario. I really, truly can’t stand his fatty-boo, ‘glide around the floor like a greased infant’ nature and his total inability to deal with the most miniscule of threats. Having grown up with the Mega Drive (or Genesis for those of you further afield) perhaps this does come off with a slight bias towards Mario being an insufferable berk but unfortunately I don’t see why my contemporaries from the Nintendo camp find Mario so entertaining.

For the sake of trying to appear somewhat even handed, I’ll admit that Sonic wasn’t exactly a non-stop thrill ride. However, the one thing Sonic could be relied upon for was actually killing the enemy when he jumped on their heads. For a guy with quite an arsenal of whacky shite at his disposal, Mario seems a little too dependant on it all – it would be nice if he could actually land a jump safely without whacking a shell off a nearby wall, thus packing himself into a six foot latrine of his own self loathing for his sheer inability to protect a Princess who has been kidnapped more often than I care to research. Honestly, I can’t even be bothered opening Wikipedia to throw in some factual evidence for the case against the dungaree-clad colon-plumber.

All this to one side though, I would love to hear some feedback on some of the better cartridges available for the SNES,  so if there’s anything you think that’s worthwhile,  please let me know.  Hopefully this has served as a nice introductory read and as such you’ll either totally avoid reading any post with the name ‘Rustvaar’ attributed to it or perhaps you’ll stick around and enjoy my less than favourable rants!


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